Redefining Grief: Why We Must Stop Ranking Loss
Grief expert Julia Samuel challenges the myth of a hierarchy of loss. New bereavement laws in the UK now recognize diverse forms of grief.
POLICY WIRE — London, United Kingdom — A new wave of bereavement legislation is reshaping how society understands and supports those dealing with loss. The changes reflect a growing awareness that grief is not linear or hierarchical, but deeply personal and complex.
Grief expert Julia Samuel highlights that the idea of one type of loss being more significant than another is a harmful misconception. She emphasizes that love equates to loss, and no form of mourning should be considered less valid. Siblings, for instance, are often overlooked as mourners, despite their deep emotional bonds with those they lose.
The UK government has taken a major step forward by expanding bereavement leave to include a wider range of relationships, including siblings, step-families, and foster families. This update, effective from April 2027, also covers miscarriage and IVF-related losses, acknowledging the emotional weight of these experiences. The law aims to provide flexibility, allowing individuals to take time off within 56 weeks of a loss, recognizing that grieving is not a fixed process.
Samuel stresses that grief is not something people simply ‘get over’—it transforms them. She notes that societal expectations around grieving, such as expecting closure after a set period, are unrealistic. Instead, she encourages individuals to understand and accept the complexity of their grief, seeking support when needed.
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One of the key factors influencing the depth of grief, according to Samuel, includes the nature of the relationship with the deceased, the level of support received, the circumstances of the death, past experiences of loss, and an individual’s psychological resilience. These elements shape the grieving process uniquely for each person.
Society’s fear of death contributes to the difficulty of processing loss. Samuel argues that death and birth are fundamental parts of life, yet they are often avoided in conversation. She advocates for education and open dialogue about death, suggesting that children should learn about grief early, helping families build emotional literacy around loss.
Healing from grief involves embracing the pain rather than suppressing it. Physical activity, self-compassion, and meaningful conversations can help individuals navigate their emotions. Samuel also underscores the importance of being present for others in grief, offering support without trying to ‘fix’ their pain.
Ultimately, facing death and discussing it openly allows people to live more fully. By accepting the inevitability of loss, individuals can better appreciate life. As Samuel concludes, understanding and acknowledging grief is a crucial life skill in a world that often seeks quick fixes for deep emotional struggles.
Reporting by Policy-Wire (PW)