Why Holding Grudges Can Be Harmful: A Deep Dive into the Psychology of Resentment

Exploring the impact of grudges on mental health and relationships. Learn how to let go and find peace.

October 4, 2026 One Min Read

POLICY WIRE — New York, United States — Meredith Lepore admits she has a long memory when it comes to feeling wronged. She recalls holding a grudge for five to seven years over a bachelorette party incident that occurred 12 years ago, where she felt overlooked in the planning process.

Lepore also shared an experience from her twenties, when a roommate yelled at her for locking herself out of their apartment. Though she would consider having a drink with the person, she says she would never call them a friend. Her most enduring grudge, however, stems from a college-era incident involving a missing birthday cake, which she still remembers vividly.

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According to a survey, 78% of adults carry some form of resentment, with an average of seven grudges at any given time. Experts like psychotherapist Nancy Colier and Harvard professor Tyler VanderWeele warn that holding onto these feelings can lead to serious mental and physical health consequences, including increased anxiety, depression, and cardiovascular issues. They emphasize that forgiveness is key to emotional healing.

Reporting by Policy-Wire (PW)

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